If Paris Hilton Had Actually Gone On Tour!

The Associated Press would release something like this:

[THIS IS FAKE NEWS]

Paris gives first performance

Paris Hilton strutted her way back to center stage with a short, sexy set at the House of Blues believed to be her first public concert appearance.

The pop star, more recently derided as a party girl for her highly public forays into midnight carousing, appeared to be back in top form.

The 26-year-old singer and actress went onstage late Tuesday wearing nothing more than knee-high go-go boots with a short white skirt and a sparkly pink bra top that showed off her belly button ring. A long brown wig completed the outfit, covering the head.

She launched a short set with her classic “Stars Are Blind,” using a cafe chair as a burlesque prop while she pranced around the small club stage backed up by four dancers.

“She’s so good!” yelled San Diego hairstylist Ally Murray, 29, as Hilton showed off her aerobic choreography.

Hilton sped through the songs — all songs from her debut album “Paris” — wrapping up after less than 15 minutes. She gave a shy goodbye before an old Madonna song came on over the sound system. “Thanks everyone for coming,” she told the packed club.

The comeback didn’t hit a high note for everyone, some of whom paid upward of $125 a ticket.

“It looked like she lip-synched her way through the whole thing,” said a disappointed Morgan Segall, 20, who flew in from San Francisco for the night.

The performance, under heavy club security, was shrouded in mystery. The club marquee advertised a show by “The M&Ms,” and it wasn’t until an hour after the doors opened that a disc jockey mentioned Hilton’s name, prompting shrieks from girls jammed in front of the stage.

Rumors of a Hilton show had spread on the Internet and via local radio stations late last week, prompting a run on tickets by die-hard fans.

Earlier this year, she told fans she hoped for a second album to come out soon.

“I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever,” Hilton wrote on her Web site in January, also noting she’d “been far from perfect.”

“Whatever, we love her,” said Raul Flores, 22, who waved a foam placard of his favorite pop star at the club exit. “She’s amazing.”

At one point in the show, Hilton and her posse played at taunting a male dancer who, dressed in a natty gray suit, looked vaguely like Josh Henderson.

“The M&Ms” had two other concerts scheduled at House of Blues venues in Southern California — one in Anaheim on Wednesday and the other Thursday in West Hollywood — according to the club’s web site.

Associated Press
Edited

Wouldn’t it be great if this was true? BTW, this article was written for Britney Spears’ comeback. I just remplaced her name with Paris and removed a few lines.